Anywho, I might be getting a little deep today...it's been an emotional week? Last weekend, Jesse and I went home to surprise our families, the first homecoming for us since we moved to the Twin Cities in December. I guess I came back yearning for more time at home, wishing I could have spent more time with family and seen my friends. But at the same time, I was really anxious to get back to our furbabies---this was the first time we've left them without one of us staying home with them---and also ready to get back to work. It was the end of the month and I wanted to make sure I exceeded my goal for work.
In addition to adjusting to getting back into our schedule after a long weekend away from home, my heart was feeling really heavy. One of my best friends was getting married to one of our really good friends this weekend and I was really sad to not be there. Things haven't been going so well for us since I moved out here...if they have been going at all? I honestly don't know what the future holds for our friendship, but I have faith in God and His plans so I just had to leave it all in His hands. But it does hurt, to not be there with her celebrating this HUGE event in her life. An event the two of us have talked about for a while... I had initially planned to surprise her this weekend... So I was left to wonder...is she missing me as much as I was missing her?
I had a conversation with a mutual person who knows us today, I'm really glad I did because she brought some sunlight into all that happened... I shared with her that I was really bothered to not be there last night, that I probably care too much. And she said "Of course you do, that's your sweet nature Ashley...The one true judge will open her eyes and heart one day and you'll be ready like you always are because that's who you are." And it's so true. I know we are both at fault for what happened. That I didn't handle a situation as good as I should've... I have learned from my faults. I've grown and I've forgiven her for hurting me as well.
So just like Spring melts away the snow and the dead plants, bringing out beautiful bulbs and green grass... I, too, shall let the past be the past---continue with my life, thanking God for the love that is in my life and forgiving as He forgave us. I can honestly say that I really do not ever wish harm on any one...not even my worst enemies. Some people may think otherwise but my heart is full of love.
For those of you out there, holding on to anger...let it go. Forgive those who have hurt you. Not for them but for yourself. The only person you are hurting is you when you let that build up inside of you. Life is way too short to be letting that negativity into your life. Imagine what this world would be like if we all just learned to let go and just love more?